How to tell internet gurus from a**holes
By the end of this email, you will have everything you need for your first 6-figure payday.
(Don’t forget to send me the testimonial, k? Because if you didn’t write a testimonial for the internet guru who finally shared the #1 secret of making fat stacks passively, did it even happen???)
Okay, before I tell you the secret to GETTING RICH OVERNIGHT ON THE INTERNET, for anyone who’s new here let me show you a picture so you know I’m credible.
Observe my smooth, pale skin. Gaze upon my professionally coiffed hair and $250 makeup job. I didn’t even workout the year this picture was taken! #bornthisway
For serious, tho. You should listen to me.
Not because I am one of those lucky assholes you see in your newsfeed who built a 7-figure business in less time than it takes most people to build their first not-totally-embarassing website, but because I’ve been on the internet marketing scene for a decade, teaching about email marketing and newsletters, and I know how to make money online. I know what works for normal people and what only works for beautiful charismatic charmers like the woman you saw in that picture.
Here’s me today, for context.
Yes, that’s me with the guitar. Bit of a transformation, eh?
In this picture, I’m leading a song circle at my friend Laura Sprinkle’s business retreat in Maine. Song circles are a side thing I do for pleasure, because it spreads joy. That skirt I’m wearing is so old the fabric is practically see-through, and I didn’t even brush my hair. And yet I’m still rich by my pre-girlboss standards, but a lot more myself, and so much happier.
I am living proof that, when it comes to making money on the internet, you can be a gussied up girlboss promising people, “If I can do it, so can you,” or you can just be you—a multifaceted human who is occasionally brilliant and equally often makes bad decisions and feels like they don’t know anything. Both are true!
But what does it actually take? Let’s investigate.
What it really takes to get rich online (without losing yourself in the process)
First, get used to feeling like a loser.
You’re going to fail more often than you succeed. And even when you are succeeding, you’ll look at people around you who are more successful, and still feel like everyone ever born is smarter than you, and building their businesses faster.
I’ve had more loser days than I can count. Some days I can’t get past the fact that my email list has been stuck at 10K subscribers for, like, four years, and people who just started yesterday – total babies like Alex Dobrenko – have 17K. Nevermind my peers who have more than 50K. I hate them. Except for the ones I love—one of the best things about building an online business is how many friends I’ve made all over the world. That alone has made building a business worth it.
But yeah, tenacity. You need a buttload of it.
Next, have something to sell that costs more than a thousand dollars.
Do not think you’re getting rich selling a $25/month membership. That only works for people with large pre-existing audiences. So unless that’s you, think of something you could sell for $1000, or better yet, $5000. It’s so much easier to get 20 people to pay you $5000 than it is to get 333 to pay you $25 every month for a whole year.
And the result is the same: $100,000 → The magic number that gets you into the 6-figure club.
Also, start a newsletter and write one at least twice a month.
I’m biased about this because it’s what I teach and how I made my millions. You already know the arguments—you don’t own your followers, the algorithm could change at any time, blah blah blah. But writing a newsletter will help you define your values and separate you from your competitors. And again, if you’re looking for 20 people to pay you $5000, your email list doesn't have to be huge. I’ve seen loads of people build multi 6-figure businesses with less than 3000 subscribers (NOT SELLING $25 MEMBERSHIPS!).
Email is how things are sold on the internet. Everything else is supportive, but email is often the last link clicked before a transaction is made. Don’t wait until five years from now.
Finally, get support from mentors who are not total assholes.
That needs its own section. Let’s do that. Also I feel compelled to mention that if you want mentorship from me, Wisdom Circle is a great choice and even though I have my moments I am the opposite of an asshole. (x spots left, begins Sept 24.)
How to tell trustworthy people from rich assholes
The internet marketing scene can be the absolute worst. Trust me, I know how much you hate it. I could write you 18 emails about the stuff that pisses me off—saving that for my book tho.
If someone tells you that your mindset is the problem, GTFO.
Internet marketers have hundreds of ways to explain why their proven system didn’t work, and almost all of them point back to you being the problem.
The most nefarious of these explanations is mindset. But remember: it’s not a mindset problem if you don’t want to use flashing red countdown timers and plaster “3 spots left” all over everywhere even when you have no clients. Congratulations, you’re human! A good leader will listen and validate your concerns, and help you find a way to do marketing that feels good for you.
Marketing that feels good = marketing that’s sustainable.
Treat testimonials with extreme caution, as well as the people who use them.
I’m speaking to you as someone who uses testimonials, btw. But how they’re used is important.
In the internet marketing world, we’re trained to praise our leaders. Especially in coaching. Everyone wants to be the teacher’s rising star. People will barely get off a sales call and be writing a testimonial about how much money they made before the contract has even been signed. It’s how we validate our purchases and feel good about ourselves for making the right choices.
But building a business is not easy and it’s rarely fast. Anyone publishing testimonials that say otherwise is trying to convince you of these things without outright saying it themselves. We all know how challenging it is. Beware of the business leaders who says “yeah, it’s gonna be hard” but then follows that with a testimonial from Jessica who made a $10K sale five minutes after signing up. RED FLAG!
That’s just a little of what I have to say about assholes on the internet. Stay tuned for the book. It’s going to be salacious—like a bag of sour patch kids in book form. On the bus back from Audience Camp Justin Moore told me I should call it The Death of the Girlboss but I’m not sure. My working title is Girlboss, Interrupted. (Hit “reply” and tell me which you like better).
Random lessons about business that didn’t fit anywhere else
A few final words, so this isn’t all doom and gloom boo hoo it’s so hard.
Look for leaders and teachers who are interested in helping you build the type of business you want to build, not replicating what they built. Pay for that support. You’re going to need it.
People say “trust your intuition” but intuition in business is earned. All your bogus investments and failures are how you earn it. That’s what you can’t see on your loser days. You’re always getting somewhere even when it doesn’t feel like it.
Internet marketing has a sneaky way of chipping away at your self-confidence. Put boundaries in place so you’re not just reacting to what lands in your inbox. A lot of marketers like me will let you turn off a promotion you don’t want and stay subscribed. Use those features. If they don’t offer this, ask.
Don’t trust people like me more than you trust yourself.
Don’t spend more than $2000 on any program when you don’t have regular and ongoing access to actual humans who built the program and can teach you the skill you’re trying to learn.
Okay, now I’m just putting random thoughts into bullets. Time to wrap this up.
If you liked this email and you want to build something sustainable that’s uniquely yours, you may want to consider Wisdom Circle. There is SO MUCH INFORMATION on the internet and what most people need isn’t more of it, it’s daily action and accountability, peer support, good mentorship from someone who’s primary goal is to see you build a business that is supportive in ways that are more than just financial.
We do need mentors. We need support from people who care about our success and can help us solve our most pressing problems. Like this morning: you know what I did first thing, my throat sore, way too weary from travel to do productive work?
I texted Sandra to help me figure out what to do.
Being in business is hard, true. But it doesn’t have to be as hard as we make it, trying to make every decision on our own, and do everything is the silo of our own brains.
Whether it’s me or someone else, I hope you find your person and I hope they are the opposite of an a-hole.
Now excuse me, I will be vegetating on my couch for the remainder of the day.
XOT
Tarzan Kalryzian [she/they]
Did someone forward you this email? Subscribe here.
Follow me on LinkedIn.
