Tarzan Kay

<tarzan@tarzankay.com>

September 2, 2026

to you

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Subject:

The High Cost of Free Offers

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How much should you give away for free, and to whom?

Ugh, the newsletter slump continues.

I just wrote you three-quarters of an email asking subscribers to sponsor my grief singing circle so that I can offer it for free. In exchange for this donation, I was going to offer (not kidding!) a picture of me in a swimsuit.

The subject line was going to be “shameless swimsuit pics.”

There were going to be over-the-top prizes that in no way matched the level of investment, including a custom-created song for donors at the highest level!

I scrapped the email because a) the line between hilarious and ridiculous is thin and swimsuit pics might be crossing it, and b) even simple campaigns need infrastructure, delivery emails and maybe a new swimsuit. We have a team rule that Sandra implemented which is, “No black ops.” I would not have a loyal and high-functioning team if I was constantly springing things on them.

But the biggest reason is this:

Age-old question—Do people value what they’re given for free?

They value it lot less than what they pay for, in my experience.

Exceptions abound! This summer I had a few scholarship students and friends in The School of Consent-Based Business who showed up more fully than even my paying customers, came to every call with all of their wisdom and all of their presence. That surprised me. It usually doesn’t work like that. I took it as the biggest compliment about the strength of the program.

A counter example:

Last month I offered a free ticket for mental health workers to come to my grief song circle. Cool! People were so grateful. Also at least five people registered and didn’t come — there were extra chairs in my circle, and we started late since I didn’t know who was just late and who wasn’t coming at all.

So frustrating.

My Song Leader side-hustle has got me learning some of the most basic business lessons all over again, including the lesson that people value what they paid money for.

The way a client shows up to a $10,000 offer is a world away from how they show up for a $500 offer, even if it’s the exact same program. In my mastermind Power, attendance on the monthly hot seat calls is almost a hundred percent. My membership calls, on the other hand, get ten percent attendance on a good day.

Listen, pricing needs to be based on something: what the offer costs to deliver, how many units of it you plan to sell, what’s included, etc. But also…

The price of an offer needs to match the level of commitment and participation you expect from your buyers.

A higher price sends the signal: The people here are serious about being in this room. We are not messing around.

Conversely, lower price = lower commitment.

People who were given a free ticket don’t take the trouble to cancel the ticket when their dog gets sick. If they wake up that morning with a slight headache, or even a slightly decreased inclination to keep their commitment, game over!

As my friend Kendra says, “People need skin in the game if they’re going to drive across the river to come sing with you.”

Crossing the river is a big deal in her town. You don’t drive across the river unless you believe it’s really going to be worth it. And if you haven’t put money down, the easiest thing in the world is to convince yourself that what you really need is a night to snuggle up with a bag of Doritos and re-read ACOTAR, because you already know that experience will deliver.

All this to say, I’m not asking you for donations to my grief song circle (though I’d love it if you came to one), and I won’t be sending you swimsuit pics.

Sorry 👙😞

Every person who pressed a bill into my hand after my last circle, whether it was a $50 or $5, felt like a blessing to this offering. It made me realize that making it free means it’s not really community-supported, it’s Tarzan-supported. And I want this circle to belong to all of us, and for a little of the responsibility to keep it going to be shared among those who benefit.

So there.

My thoughts on free.

Please hit “reply” and share yours. What nuances did I miss? What’s been your experience of offering circles or other experiences for free?

I cherish your replies.

~ Tarzan

Animated GIF of Tarzan singing barefoot on grass, wearing a black tank top and an animal print skirt, with a group of people standing in a circle with her, singing along.

Tarzan Kay Consent-Based Business Educator
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