How I prepare for retreats

The Work of Spaceholding — What I’m Doing and Not Doing The Week Before Retreat

Greetings from the retreat threshold 👋

A week from today I’ll be heading to the woods to lead a 4-day retreat. 

Normally at this point I’d be face down in my facilitation plan — a Google doc that can run as long as forty pages, full of timed-down-to-the-minute activities, reminders about what to say, notes about which tables go where and who’s allergic to what. 

I still have all that, plus many poems and songs.

But I’m noticing a big shift within myself. Instead of turning the preparation into a mental exercise, my work is about tuning into the field of awareness from which I want to facilitate. 

This morning I slept in late (8am for me), spent the morning dusting and tending the artwork in my living room, building my “whale altar,” then spending time toning along with a singing bowl that Sandra gave me years ago. 

My facilitation plan has a lot of gaps. 

I’m working out the gaps with my brain – in a marathon Zoom call with my co-facilitator Zoë Gillis – and also working them out by opening my heart to receive support and wisdom from non-human sources. From spirit, whales, ancestors, and from the songs themselves. I’ve been going on long walks and singing my grandmother’s favourite song, This is the day that the Lord has made (the source of endless groaning and complaining when she made us sing it endlessly as children). 

Operating this way feels daring. 

It feels like the edgiest thing I’ve ever done. 

I’ve spent ten years doggedly building a business with my intellect.  Spreadsheets and quarterly plans and 50-page facilitation documents flow from me effortlessly. I plan to take those skills with me, …and I’m ready to lean into my other gifts for this next era of business — this huge, deep-feeling heart, and of course, my song, which is my original medicine. 

I can’t wait to see what happens. 

Wish me luck 🍀

Tarzan

Tarzan Kay Consent-Based Business Educator
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