Tarzan Kay


June 14, 2024

to you

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none of my clothes fit, and here’s why

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None of my clothes fit anymore, and I’m okay with it

I’ve been donating my divorce clothes.

The Nike running shorts that squeeze my thighs painfully, the jeans that don’t zip to the top anymore, the Lululemons that now fit like Spanx.

Some people gain weight when they’re stressed but not me. When I’m stressed, I lose my appetite and get rail thin.

During my “heartbreak years,” when I was in mediation for divorce, navigating a global pandemic, and getting coached by a convicted criminal, I lived on about 15 green olives per day, which I would eat in the evenings when my body started to go limp.

Everywhere I went, people asked me for my diet secrets. “How do you do it?” strangers would ask me.

“The divorce diet!” I’d say as if the joke were actually funny.

When I look at photos from that era, my cheeks have that sunken look skinny people get when they take Ozempic. You could cut steak on my collarbones.

Many of my email subscribers were with me on that journey. Some of you even bought courses from me, which was a real vote of confidence. You believed in me when I wasn’t sure I believed in myself.

Thank you for that.

Now that I have a raging appetite and fat on my thighs again, my confidence is back. It’s easier to write sales emails and sell my offers. Not easy, per se, but easier. There’s been a shakedown in online business these last few years, selling offers is not as easy as a lead magnet to a webinar to a sales page to a fast-action bonus (which was actually never easy).

The things that used to work don’t anymore.

I’ve had to re-educate myself with new strategies and ideas. Find new mentors and teachers. Discover adjacent industries. Network outside my bubble. Develop new skills. Try things I’ve never done before. (You should see me build an email automation. I AM A BOSS. I wasn’t able to do that before. [Sandra is LOL-ing right now. I may be “a” boss, but Sandra is “the” boss.])

You know what helps with all of that?

Fat on my hips and bum, and calories in my stomach.

I batch-blend green smoothies and drink them daily. I have a subscription to HelloFresh, which delivers 6 meals every other week. I’m weaning myself off the Sidekicks and ramen that were my sole source of calories for nearly two years. I revisit them on days when the sadness in my body wants attention, but there are fewer and fewer days like that.

I started eating overnight oats, which I also batch. (Sidekicks are better.) Plus, I’m learning about sports nutrition because, as you already know, I’m training for the Canadian Masters, aka The Elder Olympics.

Tarzan glides gracefully through the water like she was born in a boat, riding a long and narrow sprint canoe or "C1" with just enough room to kneel on one knee (like a marriage proposal, which is just how much Tarzan loves her boat!). She wears a baseball hat, life jacket and shorts, pulling a long wooden paddle through the water.

You don’t need me to tell you eating and exercising are important.

Or maybe you do.

(If so, please note I just took a break to mindlessly scarf down Takis Nacho Xplosion and play Royal Match on my phone. Permission to do this imperfectly.)

When everything in life was easy, my health was great, my marriage intact and my phone pinging with sales that felt almost effortless, I used to wonder, “What if I lose all this? What if something bad happens? What if my success was just good timing?”

A lot of bad things did happen and I lost a lot. But I’m still standing.

I don't exactly rejoice every time another pair of pants goes in the donation bin, but it's a welcome reminder that I’m a resilient human and capable of change.

I could start over again if I had to, and so could you.

If you’re a fugitive of online business like me, please don’t wait around for someone to sell you the next “perfect system” that you can follow step-by-step. No one has that.

Buying into a system like that robs you of the opportunity to discover your own way. The “Your Way” way. To build a business that lets you carve out a life that is uniquely your dream, not someone else’s dream for you.

It took my life collapsing all around me to learn that I don’t actually care about being a 7-figure girlboss.

That was someone else’s dream for me.

I’m so glad I did the laborious task of figuring out my own dreams, which, it turns out, are mostly about paddling second-hand boats and cuddling my kids.

(and writing emails, duh!)

I’d love to know yours. Hit “reply” and tell me if you know what yours is.


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Happening Around The Internet

When I cite my teachers and link to classes I’m taking, it’s not just about sales. It’s about showing you some possible avenues to try when you are done trying to build the perfect webinar funnel.

 I signed up to Safe Practitioners Workshop, a 6-part series for ethically-minded practitioners who want to prioritize safety in their programs and services (and avoid accidentally starting a cult).

Single workshops for $20 or get the whole series for $97. All proceeds go to SEEKSafely.org.

‍ Tomorrow Sandra Booker is hosting The 3 Keys To Win Back Your Time, And Transform Your Business (affiliate). Come and learn from the BEST if you want to win back 15+ hours of time per month.

Affiliate links are always marked.

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It’s your turn to be the internet’s next big sensation.
The focus for the next cohort of Power Mastermind is audience growth.

An animated graphic representing a 9-month program called "Power Mastermind", where Tarzan is standing and wearing a navy blue cardigan with a visible patch on the sleeve, over a yellow lace top that reveals a midriff. Her facial expression is mild surprise or curiosity, and she is looking directly at the camera with her head slightly tilted.

Power is for big-thinking business owners who want to leave their mark on their industries, and build a business that lights them up every single day.

Learn more + apply here
Deadline to apply is June 21

4 places available

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