Tarzan Kay


May 9, 2023

to you

What you're reading is a copy of an email my subscribers received. This is an archive, so it's possible some links are missing or expired. If you want to stay in the loop, make sure to jump on my email list and get these delivered direct to your inbox!


name reveal!

Prefer to listen in? Tune in to the audio version of this email:


Come hang out with me for Ask Tarzan Anything this Friday at 3pm ET. All questions welcome. The weirder, the better.
Submit questions here. Add to your calendar here. 

So I came up with a name for my mastermind. 

As with a lot of my best ideas, it came to me while I was on drugs.*

“YOU GUYS!” I yelled at my friends who were both lying on the living room floor less than 1 foot away from me.


I was peaking hard. 

I couldn’t stop yelling.
I saw the entire promotion + delivery laid out in front of me. All of the stories I would tell. The people I needed to get in the room. The songs I’d sing at our first retreat. The whole point of the mastermind!

Even better, I saw the central question that would frame every conversation. 

My whole body buzzes with electricity every time I speak the question out loud.⚡️Some background about the mastermind before I share it, in case you didn’t read all 2341 words on this info sheet

This isn’t the kind of program where I ask you to aspirationally spend $12K for the chance to be the kind of person who can afford to spend that much money—which makes it the opposite of probably every mastermind pitch you’ve heard.

>> It’s for people who already have revenue figured out, who are already enjoying a 40% profit margin (ish) and understand that more is not always more. 

>> It’s for business owners who’ve already “made it” by all of the standard metrics and are now asking themselves, “What next? When is enough enough? What am I really going after here?”

Those are questions I’ve been asking myself since I had my first (and only!) 7-figure year back in 2020. 

If you’re asking those questions too, you might be a great candidate for my 2023 mastermind whose name I’m about to reveal in a second. But first I have another question for you. For us, really. 

“How are we going to share power?”

As I writhed on the floor in my living room unravelling the tangled ball of yarn in this question, more questions just kept spilling out…

How can we be powerful in our businesses without overpowering our customers and employees? 

How do we avoid repeating the abuses of power that were done to us? 

How do we meet the parts of ourselves that are still craving more, even though we already have so much? 

Is it okay to thrive under capitalism while so many suffer? What would that even look like?

As these questions came to me, they felt like an accumulation of everything I’d been writing about for the last three years.

It was totally ecstatic. 

Never in my life have I experienced this level of clarity. My whole brain was lighting up like a neon sign, telling me exactly what to do, exactly where to go and what to say when I got there. 

I crashed hard after that. 

I actually thought I might be dying. I promised myself I was never doing drugs again, ever. At one point I was hiding in the bathroom thinking, “This is worse than giving birth.”

It’s a bit early to say, but I think it was worth it. 

I scheduled an extra session with my therapist and took three days off to do nothing but lay around drinking smoothies, playing board games with my kids and writing my horrible book (which my writing coach Suzy said is actually looking really, really good). 

By Thursday morning wild horses could not keep me from sitting down and writing you this email about what I’m working on. 

I really hope this idea is as good as I think it is. I dream that somewhere in the world eight brave humans will read these words and think, “Yes, Tarzan, yes. Let’s do this.”

If that’s you, you can hit reply and start a conversation, or you can book a call with me. Just follow the link below.

The name, of course, is this:




If you’ve ever wondered how long it takes me to write an email, here’s what writing this email looked like:

0 min – started writing

2 min – search and added “capitals” Gdoc extension

5 min – scrap my opening and start over

8 min – write a text box (great warm up!)

9 min – check Slack

11 min – research how to add my brand colours to a Google doc permanently until I realise I’m procrastinating

17 min – write a long aside about my choice of the word “drugs” instead of “plant medicine”

21 min – retrieve initial opening from the cutting room floor, add back into email

23 min – pee and snack break

24 min – writing and eating

30 min – late for a meeting, ack!!

~ half hour later ~

0 min – restart writing 

8 min – pick up my phone to check Voxer but remember I was actually writing an email

13 min – log into Fathom to get VOC data from a sales call I did yesterday

34 min – finish draft

41 min – finished

Total writing time: 1h11m

Longest stretch of writing time: 21min

This is a sales email, so it took a bit longer than usual. I can usually knock out a newsletter in 45 minutes. If you’ve got questions about my writing process, come to my AMA this Friday, May 12 @ 3pm ET. 

Submit questions here. Add to your calendar here. 


*You might’ve noticed I don’t use the word “plant medicine.” That’s an intentional choice.

There’s a ton of elitism among drug users. One way that white supremacy culture makes its way into everyday language is by calling some drugs “medicine” (like mushrooms, LSD and other drugs that are commonly used by people with wealth and privilege) and calling others “drugs” as though it’s a synonym for “shameful, addictive and harmful” (like crack or PCP).

I reject that. 

Drugs are drugs, and mine aren’t better or more respectable than anyone else’s. A key step to responsible drug use is not shaming people for their drug of choice.

Reply to the email


All-time most popular emails right here

(read ‘em and weep, literally)

I slowed way, waaay down on buying courses about four years ago, once my business started churning out a

Feb 21, 2023

“Finish this sentence,” Eman said to me. “The biggest mistake I made in my business was…” It was no small ask.

Jan 27, 2023

If you’ve struggled to get quality emails out to your list consistently, or had long lapses between communications

Nov 22, 2022

I shared this meme on Instagram the other day: A cascade of DMs ensued, mostly from people

Oct 4, 2022

Cascades of angry-looking waves push up against my kayak, threatening to tip me into the cold black water of

Sep 27, 2022

It’s been two weeks since my last email, and I hardly ever miss a weekly email. I have written thousands of emails

Sep 6, 2022

In my first year of business, I made $61,833 in gross revenue. After expenses, I took home just over half. 

Aug 16, 2022

I’m moving like a superhuman these days, doing it all until my body literally quits on me, as it did this morning. 

Jun 7, 2022

There’s this guy Parry who I follow on LinkedIn. His industry-disrupting 30-word diatribes about PR are crisp AF.

May 27, 2022

People think we are super great for offering low or zero markup on our payment plans. I’ve also been

Apr 12, 2022

Start writing consent-based copy and prioritize people over profit 


You can make money without being a greasy promise-pusher, slapping "70% OFF FOR ONE DAY ONLY!" all over your website, or putting giant red countdown timers in every email. Here's how. 


The easiest ways to Tarzan-ify your emails and launch copy


The Course Launch Copy Kit ($27)

Copy Caboose Digital Program ($500)