Tarzan Kay


April 11, 2023

to you

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why you should not buy a course about ChatGPT

Prefer to listen in? Tune in to the audio version of this email:

I’m sitting at the back of the room with a scowl on my face, arms crossed protectively in front of me. The host of the event is doing a live demo from stage, creating an ai-generated video using a tool called HeyGen

I already hate him.  

He can’t talk to a woman without calling her “baby” or “sweetheart.” Three times he’s implied that a CEO’s success can be measured by how many girlfriends he has. (<— coming back to that, please see P.S.!) 

For the demo he’s using HeyGen to create a bot that will be his spokesperson for the event, a sexy white lady with expensive-looking blonde hair (obviously).

“I’ll do anything for a twenty,” he instructs her to say. 

The sexy bot repeats it back to him and the room explodes with laughter, as though Perry is the funniest guy in the world. 


I traveled 2300 miles and spent upwards of $3K to be in this room—not including Cirque du Soleil tickets, or the money I’m going to lose at the Craps table later. 

No one told me the hidden cost, which was:

  1. You will be persistently subjected to degrading humor based on your gender.
  2. If you want to join this club, you have to laugh along. 

All of the men I raised the issue with over the 3-day Ai Bot Summit in Vegas said one of two things:


“That’s just how he talks but he’s actually a good guy. He really respects women!” (Sorry, but no he doesn’t. That’s not how you talk to people you respect.)


“I feel like you can’t say anything anymore.”(IF ONE  MORE WHITE GUY SAYS THIS TO ME I AM GOING TO SPIT!)

Normally at conferences I spend my time hanging around the bar, attending every party, working the room. I am a notorious flirt and I love that about me.

But the only room I worked last week in Vegas was my hotel room, where I ate all of my meals and even spent some of my breaks hiding out.

I even skipped an epic party in someone’s very expensive suite at the MGM Grand, hosted by a guy named (seriously not joking) Milton Moneybags. K fine, actually joking—but his real name was strikingly similar.

The truth is I got a LOT of good information about how to use AI in my business, but I left feeling so grubby and also too mad to tell you about it. 

I have to rest and digest first. 

But, because I’m not a total tease, I will give you three things to do if you’re trying to figure out how to not be left behind. 

  1. Sign up for an OpenAI account and start playing with ChatGPT.

If you haven’t done this yet, you’ll be surprised how much fun it is. 

Ask it to write ten subject lines for your next email. It works better if you tell it about who you’re writing to first. It also helps to add specific instructions like “use at least one weird word” or “tease some of the content inside the email without giving it away.”

Remember that the output is only as good as the prompt. So if it sucks, it’s not because ChatGPT sucks. It’s not even because you forgot to select GPT-4 from the dropdown menu. 

Spoiler: it’s you. You’re the problem. You and me and Taylor Swift and 99.999999999% of all other people who don’t have a clue what they’re doing. 

Try another prompt. 

  1. Watch YouTube tutorials instead of spending money on courses that will be obsolete in 30 days. 

SRSLY. Don’t even bother watching videos that are more than a month old. They’re already outdated. 

If you do decide to buy a course, buyer beware. The bar for AI training is extremely low and your inbox is about to get flooded with offers. These tools are very new and hardly anyone knows what they’re doing. (Except my internet crush Sam Woods.) Ask questions first, starting with, “How long have you been doing this?” Chances are the answer is, “About 45 minutes.”

I just saved you a gazillion dollars

You’re welcome. 

  1. Start with the ONE PROBLEM that you want to solve, then look for a tool that can do that.

Making a slide deck for your digital program? Try Beautiful.ai. (Hat tip to Sandra Booker.)

Don’t want to attend a webinar but you still want the information? Send a bot in your place using Spoke.app

Got a loud dog / baby / spouse that’s messing with your audio? Try Krisp.ai for cutting out background noise. 

Futurepedia is a directory of AI tools that is updated daily. It’s easy to get lost in all the possibilities. I have to tell myself fifty times a day, “Tarzan, you are not going to be left behind.”

It’s okay if you’re scared. Me too. This is a really big moment in human history and we just lived through a big fucking moment in human history and we are all already tired and maybe we just need a break from big moments in human history for a fuckin’ second, but here we are. 

To quote Sam Woods who I probably don’t but maybe actually do have an internet crush on, “We need to face it with both courage and trepidation.”

We are all in this together and I’m choosing to trust that you and me are going to be okay. But we can’t pretend it’s not happening. It is important to look and to learn, even if that feels hard right now.

The more I learn about AI, the better I understand and appreciate what it means to be human. All the possibilities that exist within AI, from the most terrific to the most terrifying, would not exist if they did not exist within us first. 

It’s a crazy-beautiful, treacherous, messy work-in-progress, just like you and me. 

…and I think that’s kind of magic. 



It’s worth noting that I’m a polyamorous person who was once in a throuple with a doctor and a very successful CEO. The CEO didn’t love it when I spoke publicly about our unconventional romance—maybe because HE HAS MANNERS AND HE DOES NOT TREAT WOMEN LIKE TROPHIES. 

All this to say, I support the consensual union of more than two people, in whatever combination of genders brings them happiness! 

I do not support assholes who treat women like commodities.


I’m looking for an AI that’s good at writing alt text. Let me know if you know one.

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