when I said “ask me anything,” I didn’t expect this

I said you could ask me anything, but I didn’t expect this

Bad news for me.

I told my subscribers to ask me anything and not a single person asked me out on a date. Not a single person or a married person, which would’ve also been fine if it was consensual.

Alas, zero dates for Tarzan

Some people asked about marketing. What’s changed post-covid? How do I incorporate newsletter strategies to my email list? Stuff like that. I’ll get to all that eventually.

But most of the questions were some version of this:

This email is for all the Mels out there:

I am a single polyamorous queer who spends most of her Friday nights alone, vacuuming my house and drinking tequila on ice.

Business is hard right now so I work a lot. Lots of evenings, and on the Saturdays when I don’t have my boys. I have 40% parenting time, which leaves quite a lot of time for work and play. I work out 3x a week, always on the same days.

Right now I eat HelloFresh a few nights a week because I like cooking but my capacity for inventing recipes is basically nil. I used to have a housekeeper but I don’t anymore. Maybe I’ll get one once I’m done paying alimony but, in the meantime, caring for my house is my gratitude practice.
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I live in an unnecessarily large 4-bedroom house that I rented because it’s got two fireplaces and was the only non-new-build house I could find close to my kid’s dad. (The new builds around here are drab and don’t have yards.)

Stacking, chopping and carrying wood is a favorite ritual. I’m not religious or spiritual, and this is the closest thing I have to a meditation practice.

I have 3 Ruggables, including a 9ft x 12ft Iris Apfel design that is the pride of my living room. We spend most Sundays laying around reading.

I’m a safe drug user, another thing I usually do by myself once a month or so. I like MDMA and ketamine the most; They go good together. I always tell someone about it because disclosure is one way that I hold myself accountable to not using too much or too often.

Sometimes recovery can be arduous, especially with psychedelics, so I don’t do those very often. Drugs are a lot of work. I use them recreationally and therapeutically and either way, it works. I’m transitioning into doing them a bit less. During my divorce, MDMA was one of the only ways I knew how to feel okay but I don’t need it as much anymore.

Rebuilding after divorce was hard. It took two and a half years but I finally got my divorce approved by a judge last month, a big milestone I fought hard for. I wouldn’t wish this experience on anyone but I also wouldn’t trade it for anything. It made me stronger and braver, and more Tarzan than I’ve ever been.

And I really like Tarzan

I hope Mel finds this a satisfying answer and I hope you continue to ask me questions like this.

Being seen in this way is a gift.

Thank you

Tarzan

You heard it here first

An overlooked way to get subscribers without social media—I signed up to this $97 workshop on how to grow your audience with newsletter ads with Amber Petty

Minimalist Hustler is a daily newsletter that’s less than 100 words, with 3 money-making resources you probably never heard of—a fun format to try if you don’t want to write in-depth emails but you still want to keep up with your list

Want to grow your list with a referral swap?

I’ll be doing more referral swaps in 2024. If you want to pitch me, I’m all .

There are 9900 subscribers to this newsletter, a 42% average open rate and CTOR around 10% on recent emails in this new format.

I also have a smaller list of monthly subscribers and the numbers are even more impressive:

Visit my inbox and tell me why we should promote each other.