Tarzan Kay


April 28, 2023

to you

What you're reading is a copy of an email my subscribers received. This is an archive, so it's possible some links are missing or expired. If you want to stay in the loop, make sure to jump on my email list and get these delivered direct to your inbox!


more things to buy (???)

Oh, hey! 

This email is honor of a subscriber who hit “reply” on one of my emails last week to say, 

“This is the 2nd email in a row you have sent promoting some online product with commissions, an email which benefits you rather than me. I hope this is not the direction you are going towards?”

Yeah, man! 

This is the direction I’m going!

If I could do nothing but tell my subscribers weirdo stories about being an ex-New Age polyamorous queer who likes doing ketamine on weekends by herself, I would do THAT all day long forever and ever!

…let me tell you about this dating app I discovered called Feeld! …or the sex-ed videos my bestie has been sending me lately!! 

…and these earrings, I mean c’mon!  EXCLAMATION POINT CITY OVER HERE, man!!!

Alas, I have a large spousal support obligation and am also looking to amass a small collection of gold bullion so I will continue to sell things now and then. 

For SRSLY tho. 

If you want to work with me but you’re not sure how or what, I thought you might appreciate knowing about all the offers I have planned this year. 

Giving you a heads up about what’s coming is one of my business’s most important consent practices. You’ll be able to TURN OFF ANY PROMO EMAILS you don’t want and say “MORE, PUH-LEEZE” to others! (follow the link below to proactively do this!)

Here’s what’s coming…

The Yet-to-be-Named Mastermind Program with Tarzan $12K (Summer 2023)

A lean 9-month mastermind for eight business owners with revenue of $250K-$1M. Chill conversations online and in-person. Zero dick swinging allowed. Emphasis on putting people over profits (including yourself). See here for details.

Kelly Diels’ Copywriting for Culture Makers $3600 (June)

This is an affiliate promo

A high-trust container with a ton of hands-on support from Kelly. For businesses that want to sell unapologetically, without using subconscious triggers & traps.

Email Stars $2500 (Fall 2023)

An intimate 6-week program for those with an email list of at least 500 who want to make email a profit center in their businesses. Big focus on storytelling. Includes 1:1 support from me. Limited to 20 participants

Copy Caboose $500 (Evergreen)

A quick ‘n’ dirty DIY copywriting course that teaches how to write highly-persuasive sales copy without being coercive. Soon-to-be available 365 days a year. Usually goes on sale around Black Friday.

If all you want to do after reading this email is buy my earrings, cool! 100% of your money would be going to an Indigiqueer business, which is awesome. They have so many beautiful designs it makes me want to melt one of my bullions and buy every pair!

Mucho love to all of my subscribers. 

Even the complainers.

I love you hotheads the most because you’re just like me. 


Reply to the email


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Start writing consent-based copy and prioritize people over profit 


You can make money without being a greasy promise-pusher, slapping "70% OFF FOR ONE DAY ONLY!" all over your website, or putting giant red countdown timers in every email. Here's how. 


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