I could get drunk on this feeling

This is the only thing I want to do right now, and the only thing I could possibly write about

I keep trying to write this email and clicking away to work on The Girlboss Apology Tour. It’s all I want to do right now. 

Internally, we call the project “GBAT,” which we pronounce “guh-BAT” when we’re feeling silly. Out in the wild I just call it “The Tour.”

Like I’m Brand Carlile. 

“The tour starts April 13,” I tell my friends and colleagues. Or better yet, “Sorry, I won’t be able to attend your event because The Tour is happening that week.” 

I am eat-sleep-breathing this thing, already dreaming of our “Fall Tour.” Cruising in this current of creative energy is the absolute best feeling. A client of mine once described it as, “When you’re driving down a country road in fifth gear, all the windows rolled down and the wind in your hair.” You could get drunk on this feeling! 

Don’t be jealous until you attend one of our cash flow meetings tho. This project is a huge bet on myself. I’m glad I have the cash to see the business through months of creating, creating, creating, and not really selling anything, but it’s seriously un-fun to watch your bank accounts trending downward for three months straight. 

And it’s also wonderful. 

My days right now look like…

✔️  Recording pre-interviews plus actual interviews — Everyone gets interviewed twice! It’s a fun game of Scheduling Tetris!

✔️  Endlessly noodling on landing pages, trying not to annoy our designer Amber Secrest.

Zero tidying was done for this photo!

✔️  Editing audio in GarageBand — Sandra says we decided that wasn’t my job but I conveniently forgot. Audio editing is a love language and it turns out I speak it fluently.

✔️  Writing both personalized and bulk letters asking (no, begging!) people, “Puh-leeeese support my project with a mention in your newsletter.”

✔️  Running failure scenarios with my therapist — One person asked me, “What if it works?” and I was like, “Wow, let me pretend I’m going to think about that.”

✔️  Ignoring everything else in Clickup and turning my newsletter in late every week since January. (I looooove having distance from my project management tool tho — I feel FREEEE!!)

I struggle with self-doubt, but not about The Tour. That part feels like a slam dunk. I’m Lebron James! Watch me, my friend. 

As part of this project we’re also conceptualizing our next, next move, The School of Consent-Based Business. That’s the offer that will come on the heels of The Girlboss Apology Tour. (Is the link obvious to you? It couldn’t be more obvious to me, but all this happened in my head, so what do I know?)

That part feels edgy. 

It might not work. People might decide they prefer The School of 10xing Your Business And Flying In Private Jets. I might burn through all my business savings and end up with five thousand new subscribers and zero buyers. 

It’s a risk. 

But I am feeling so alive and so on mission that the risk feels worth it. At this moment, anyway. Ask me when I’m getting closer to the bottom of my cash flow. I might feel different. 

But for today, I’m Lebron James.

And damn does it feel good to be Lebron James. 

xo,
Tarzan

Tarzan Kalryzian [she/they]
Did someone forward you this email? ​Subscribe here​.
Follow me on ​LinkedIn​.